Those Cradle Days……

It was a cold winter morning; I somehow decided to clean up the mess that had build up in the due course of my stay in my house. As I was cleaning I picked up empty cans, chocolate wrappers, waste papers, old magazines, lots of dead insects and an armada of red ants (God! they can reach anywhere….). As I turned my eyes towards the ceiling, I saw big cob-webs hanging down, with insects hooked up in them and the Spidy was moving from one to another. I haven’t realized until then that I was living in a shithole, I loathe cleaning but the circumstances compelled me to get into my boxers with a broom in my hand. The broom was small (or may be my height is not that much…..) it didn’t reach the ceiling. So, I went out looking for those damn long cob-web cleaners. I went to the store room (behind the garage). God, that place stinks. My mom has this habit of keeping all those old, torn up things in there. She wouldn’t throw a penny (isn’t it the common trait in all the girls and women……pssss). As I was looking for the web cleaner my eyes felt on the cradle, thrown in the corner in a rickety condition. The clothes and the cover had holes in them. It was covered with plethora of dust particles. On the top there was a bar with chimes hanging right in the middle. There used to beads on them, but it was all gone. Some stuffed animals used to hang there. They are no more. I went into flashback. I used to love these stuffed toys, especially the tiger (Lucky Calvin…he never grows up and can still keep Hobbes). Besides the cradle was my Pooh…with one eye missing and cotton hanging out of his stomach.  There used to be many other guys, but all of them were found nowhere. They had all deserted me or was it vice-versa? Whenever I used to cry my Mom used to bring the stuffed bear (I used to call him Boo….) and I would stop crying. In the cradle I would grasp Pooh with my one hand and then I would sleep, rest assured that I was safe ( my thumb would be in my mouth…….Ya, I used to suck my thumb and am not proud of it).

When I started to walk on my tiny legs my Dad brought me a wheelie. I used to enjoy walking a lot. I would hold my wheelie and run all around the house, my mother used to run behind me with the milk bottle in her hand. I hated milk. The wheelie was lying there, dumped on the old sofa, with no wheels.

As time passed by I got a new partner, my middle bro. He had those big rosy cheeks and amber eyes. He was sweet like hell. I used to pull his cheeks or would kiss on them and he would cry in loud cacophony. I was confused, what the hell did I do? But I hated him when he would try to take my stuffed toys. He always wanted only those things with which I was playing. He had this bad habit of snatching things. I don’t know why but I don’t like to share them with him. If he urges too much, I would throw them at him and then a fist followed. He would cry and GAME OVER!!!.....the result, always the same, I lost. Mom would come running and would take him in her arms, and would scold me “ Anshu, you are not a child. You are three years old, be civilized and love your brother. He is your little bro……” I used to wonder what “being civilized” means, anyway who cares.

As days rolled by, the size of my toys grew alongside me (atleast they seemed bigger during those days). My father brought me a cricket bat and a plastic ball. By that time my middle bro was four and my youngest bro was two. Me and my middle brother used to play cricket in the backyard with my youngest brother watching us with those amusing eyes. We used to draw wickets on the walls. I hated balling so I always cheated. I rarely give him a change to bat. God, was I bossy and mean.

Now, I am 24 and my brothers are studying in engineering college. Now, as I looking to those stuffed toys, bat, cradle… I thought how stupid I was back then. I would talk hours with Pooh. I would always keep my bat near my bedside. I hated when someone even touches them. I was very possessive. But along the way I learned the joy of sharing things…..But HEY!!! Don’t even dare to touch my computer or my Ipod……. ;)

Redefining Success

It’s long since I have posted a blog on this page, almost a year. So it needs much endeavor to post a new one. This one is about “SUCCESS”. After watching the movie 3 idiots, which has become the telltale of the country……No, I am not going about to talk about the debate between Chetan Bhagat and the 3 idiots team to which my personal view is that Bhagat has been unfairly treated. What I want to lay emphasis is on the message that the film wants to give. Yes, I know you would be saying “I did get the film. The message was regarding the education system and that it should be excellence oriented not success oriented.”
But just give a thought on the very first scene in movie, in which our “Silencer” shows the picture of his house, his Lamborghini and says that he has succeeded and therefore won the challenge. But how do you say that a person is a successful one?? Is it by the brands of clothes he wears, his bank balance, his salary, the car he owns or by the size of his bungalow. Don’t you think that these things are superficial and are just there to show off? Because nobody is going to see what you are wearing, a Gucci or an Armani, and if situation compels you, you would have to sit beside a person wearing ragged dress (Like many of the handsomely rich business men who board the local trains in Mumbai), and who the hell would be able to see your overprotected bank balance? I know you would say ‘LUXURY, CLASS’ but these are all media created hype just to sell their products. A 1800sqft flat is more than sufficient for two people to live, when millions are spending their night on the pavement without even a blanket. But who the hell cares. We as a human being always try to quantize things and try to generate discrete level-the superclass, the upperclass, middleclass …blah blah blah. To my amazement, there are various index even to measure happiness, and then there are these questions “how much do you love me?” But how on earth can you measure happiness, sorrow, love, hatred? Some things are there which can’t be measured……..and there are places where Darwin fails. So it is not always about the survival of the fittest. In our quest to survive we are forgetting that we are human first.
I remember a story which all of us have read in Gulmohar English book( I forgot the class though….. )
“there was a king who has lost his kingdom in a war and was spending his days in a cave on the outskirts of the town. One night as he was about to sleep, he heard passerby. He woke up to see that there were three women. He bowed down to them and asked their name. The first one said “I am goddess of wisdom” .The second one said “I am goddess of Power” The third one said “I am goddess of wealth.” The king pleaded “O!! Goddesses where are you all going please stay in my kingdom. else I would be ruined.”The Goddesses pitied him and said that only one of them can stay, to which the king replied “If that is the case then I want Goddess of wisdom to stay in my kingdom.” The Goddess of wisdom agreed to stay and she went inside the cave. The other two also followed her. The king was amazed and asked “ but you told me that only one of you can stay” to which the Goddess of power replied “ Where there is wisdom there is power.” Goddess of wealth said “ and where there is wisdom and power there is wealth, so we all are staying here in your kingdom.” So what matter is wisdom not power, not wealth as these things would follow.
Now I am answering my own question “How do you say that a person is successful one?”
When you become the centre of your own sphere and everything starts circling about you then you say that I am successful. And when you are happy doing what you do the best and your efforts start to pay dividend then you are successful. A mother breastfeeding a child and taking good care of family is as successful as a man running a huge industry. He might be richer, but he may not be successful…..

PS: Do say about what you think, your comments are more than welcome.

HIT & MISS @HARINGHATA

It's only 3 months since we have arrived here at Haringhata;a place almost 70 kms from Kolkata,but it seems like ages. Every second is like a light year. We have watched all our collections of series and movies,it all over in just 2 months and now we are left with nothing. There is nothing to do ,nowhere to go. Life is singing a monotonous song. So, I thought why not to pen down the pros and cons of our life here at Haringhata.................

MISS:-
1)The first thing that we miss out are the eye candies...yup...girls......hot,sexy,beautiful....
They where in plenty at Salt Lake.
2)We all are shopping and movie freaks and therefore missing out mall is but obvious.............
3)City Centre: most of ours destination charts on Saturdays and Sundays....The coolest place to hang out
4)The high speed 2mbps internet facility......
5)Our personal rooms at sector-3 Saltlake, where we used to do lots of stuff............ :)
6)Easy accessibility to the most happening places like Tantra,Nicco Park,Eliot Park.......
7)We miss bunking classes,as there is no work out here so we have to attain all the classes...
8)A good hair cutting salon,here it seem like we would be infected by AIDS once we have our hair done..................


HITS:-
1)We have our own gym,although it is deficient but its our own.............
2)The 42” big Sony Bravia LCD TV with a tata sky connection to watch Roadies
and splitsvilla.......MTV Rocks!!!!!
3)Since there is no job,many of us have picked up some musical instruments and started playing them.........
4)The drinks are lot cheaper and there fore much more affordable................ :)
5)Some of the teacher have become very friendly..........
6)Hey!!!! most of us have started playing Counter strike.....it goes on all through the night........

So overall we have sacrificed our “masti” -the essence of a collage life, for our personal academic gains.......Does it worth sacrificing????


P.S: Do point out if I have missed out something................

Thoughts in the time of exams

It is said”When a person dies, the whole life come in front of his eyes,and he realises what he has done, what he has achieved, and what he has lost.” Well something similar happens just before the exams,the only difference is that life does not end.......Hey no!! I am not going to boar you with exams tension, syllabus or any of those craps.But I want to tell that we realise just before the exams what we have done throughtout the sem.Have we done anything........anything at all.....No we haven't.
We didn't even bother to go to classes or take notes of the classes that we have missed(when counted...it will reach to infinity),but hey we are present in all our classes according to the attendence resigter. Proxies always help and this is the only part we are good at. We realise what mistakes we have committed.......We have bunked classes to see some stupid hindi movies(no need to mension the names ,there are a lot these days),We have played cards,counterstrike whole night long only to miss classes in the morning(Well do we still call 10am.....a morning??.....God knows).
Mistakes are fun sometimes...you do them even when you know its a mistake.
Now as the days progress and exams come nearer and nearer,the tension gets build up.....you can find guys running in the corridors with notebooks in their hands.....and seeing that you get more tensed......Well does anybody know the boiling point of the brain......it must be high else many of our brains would have gone(now I understand what is skull for........)
Then there are exam breaks, most of which is spend in copying those jungling words into our blank notebooks.The breaks are over and we haven't read a bit!!!
Then comes the exams days,and exams hours.......words and symbols are all swimming in the question paper( Taare Zameen Par......am I also suffering from some disease),well we have written something on our answersheet(well our names atleast...else the whole paper would have been blank).The exam hour are over and we take a deep breath...and somehow escape the discussion of the question among the toppers(damn those muggers!!!)
When the answersheet are shown,we have got somemarks atleast(partmarking adds to lot.....).And then there come those regular dialouges”You have performance is very poor....tell me you problem.....anyways I have somehow managed to pass you this time......try to do better next time”
“Yes Sir!!!(thank you...thank you a lot).Sir I will do better next sem,I promise.But do we really keep our promise.....well they are made to be broken........and there we go again cards, counterstrikes and movies...........

EMOTION'S PLAY.......

Today I went to a hospital for a regular check up, after spending some time in the waiting hall my turn came,I went to the doctor's chamber.He was examining me as if I was a malfunctioning machine and he was some great mechanic. After consulting him when I came out of his chamber,I was facing a long corridor,at the end of which was the maternity ward to the right and the cardiology ward to the left, with waiting space,and doctor's chambers in between. I started walking down the corridor,while looking at the people sitting on the either side, waiting for their turn.Walking down I looked at each one of them, some of them had a band-aid around their hand,some of them where crying with pain and hoping that pain will perish away soon.I saw pregnant women, some mentally retarded children and some elderly people lying on the stretcher unable to move or speak.
When I was at the end of the corridor,near the O.T, I saw group of people with their eyes drenched with tears. I came to know that actually there were two families,one was celebrating the birth of a baby boy and hence were crying with joy , while near to it was another family mourning at the death of their grandfather.Both the families where crying. It seems that two books with different content have same covering[Remember: Looks can be deceptive....]. I stand there motionless,perplexed,not knowing where to go, should I see the child first?or the face of the dead man??Standing in between life and death,not knowing which path to choose, I stood still watching and realizing the mysterious “EMOTION'S PLAY”.I saw EMOTION in its various form: Love, Lust,Anguish,Sorrow,Joy,Hope ........


I returned to my hostel,my mind still in the hospital.....
Life is very small and in this small span whom should we love and whom should we hate?? Because whatever we do finally we get attached,and attachment causes pain,suffering.But can anybody remain alone,unattached?? Why is it so that everything that we love has to perish??People loving someone,have the fear of losing their love,people hating someone have a constant apprehension of vengeance.Everybody in this world is leading a fearful life,no body is happy.....
All are engaged in the rat race ,trying to find an extra loaf of bread,and extra shelter not knowing that what they are accumulating will perish one day. In the process of accumulation they are bluffing,hating,killing others. Pain of one is the source of joy to other [Darwin's law: Survival of the fittest....]
But what is the use of all the materialist thing,when they lie on the death's bed??I remembered a quote from The Gita
“What is today yours,
was yesterday somebody else's,
and tomorrow it will be of somebody else”
You have come in this world to play your character,so play it good so that you can be remembered for ages.Because what is unperishable is name,soul....everything else in this world will turn into ruin one day or the other.So do not attach yourself to this materialistic world it will cause only pain.............

The price of the dead......

“ Sir, can you please give me some rupees, I have not taken any food since four days,”came a mellowing voice while I was taking a nap in my cosy seat, while I was traveling from my home to my hostel in a train. I just waved my hand , I didn't care even to look who he was, how he looked. After a few minutes or two I heard the same line in the same voice.

“How dare you wake me up”, I shouted at him,and stared at him with my eyes opened big.

“Sir , can you please give me some rupees, I have not taken any food since four days,”

“So, what can I do” I said in full rage .

“Sir, please give me ...........”

“Go some where else you tiny piece of shit,and don't dare touch me again.”But he didn't moved....

“Go away from here ,”I pushed him hard,he fell on the floor of the train and started crying!!!

“Why do they give birth to these child if they can't take care of them,they just wait for them to grow and leave them to beg.....ridiculous.You know they even steal in train.”

“Yes begging has become a million dollar industry”my co-passenger informed me in return.

The train came to halt and I boarded a taxi to my hostel .

Next day in the morning ,while I was just going through the newspaper my eyes felt on the photo ,which was a the corner of the third page.In the photo was a dead body of a nine year boy.He was boney and his stomach kissed his back. Underneath the photo was a caption “....unrecognized body found near the station...” when I saw the face of the dead body's face I recognized that I have seen him some where,but can't remember where.O God!!! its the same boy whom I refused to give money,so that he can eat. I regretted now.....How much I have saved a meager

10 or 5 rupees, but that amount could have saved his life,had he ate that day.Was that the price of the dead........Rs 10 or a photo on the corner of the third page.............

P.S: the photo has been taken from a website : gbgm-umc.org

those eleven minutes.....

Today I am going to write my first blog as I was in no mood to study(which happens quite often...). I was thinking about the topic of my writing, suddenly my eyes fell on a book kept on my self nearby my bed . It was 'eleven minutes' by Paulo Coelho. While going through it I found the topic of my blog.....I thought what if I write about LOVE, although I would be the billionth person to write about it, and there had been hundreds of movies showing love in one way or the other. But it was the book in my hand which turned me from a college going boy to an Aristotle( only if i was present back then...).I am truly impressed by his writings, I had read some of them before 'The Alchemist' being one of them,but this was really different, a bit hatke......

It is a story about a prostitute(that's why my friend gave me ,as it involved many sex scenes) who is in search of true love. the theme seems a bit awkward but the way it is written is truly classic.Everybody is in search of love,but what is it? Is it all about sex? Is it all about those eleven mintutes the time needed in which one feels orgasm? Is it about kissing one another at the corner seat of a cinema hall( I have seen it many a times........and everytime I think what the hell have Shiv Sena activists done).Well who can answer them.....surely not me as I am still not in love. Here I would like to stop and quote from the book, an intellectual story about the begining of sex,it goes as follows:-
" Men and women were not as they are now,there was just one being, who was rather short,with a body and a neck,but his head had two faces,looking in different directions.It was as if two creatures had been glued back to back,with two set of sex organs,four legs and four arms.
The Gods, however were jealous,because of this creature.With four arms it could work harder,with two faces it was always vigilant and could not be taken by surprise, and its four legs meant that it could stand or walk for long periods at a time without tiring.Even more dangerous was the fact that the creature had two different sets of sex organs and needed no one else in order to countinue reproducing.
Zeus,the supreme lord of Olympus said" I have a plan to make these mortal lose some of their strength."
And he cut the creature in two with a lighting bolt,thus creating men and women.This greatly increased the population of the wold and at the same time weakened its inhabitant,because now they had to search for their lost half and embrace it and ,in that embrace,regain their former srength,their ability to avoid betrayal and stamina to walk for long periods of time and to withstand hard work.That embrace in which two bodies re-fuse to become one again is what we call sex."
Huh......that's Paulo Coelho for you. I was truly bowled out when i read the above quoted lines.Later in his book he wrote that what if we took out the ' eleven minutes' in which one feels orgasm from ones lifes. All these million dollar industy would turn to ash,there would be no gyms,hairdressers,slim suits and all back biting would have vanished.All we do is for those eleven minutes, we spend our whole life in search of that.........
I really began to think about the world without the eleven minutes and the consequences start coming into my mind.....No boy would stare at girls on the roadside,there would be no fight,no heartbreaking,no Devdas..........and finally no competition.Wouldn't the life be more merrier? I was amost my questions and in a vain hope of finding there answers.When my friend knocked the door of my room and broke my hypothetical world without those eleven minutes.......